>HAZARDOUS MATERIAL INFORMATION SYSTEM
>MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
> *WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
>
>ELEMENT: Woman
>SYMBOL: Wo.
>DISCOVERER: Adam
>ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 188lbs but known to vary from
> 100 to 550lbs.
>OCCURENCE: Copiuos quantities throughout the world.
>
>PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
>1. Surface usually covered with painted film,
>2. Boils at nothing, freezes with reason.
>3. Melts if given special treatment.
>4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
>5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to
> common ore.
>6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
>
>CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
>1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, platinum and
> Precious Stones.
>2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
>3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and
> for no good reason.
>4. Insoluable in liquids, but actively greatly increases
> by saturation in alcohol.
>5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
>
>COMMON USES:
>1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
>2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
>3. Very effective cleaning agent.
>
>TESTS:
>1. Pure speciman turns rosy pink when discovered in natural
> state.
>2. Turns green when placed beside a better speciman.
>
>HAZARDS:
>1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
>2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
> maintained at different locations as long as specimens do
> not come into direct contact with each other.
> *******HANDLE AT YOUR OWN RISK********