>HAZARDOUS MATERIAL INFORMATION SYSTEM
>MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
>                  *WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
>
>ELEMENT:   Woman
>SYMBOL:    Wo.
>DISCOVERER:  Adam
>ATOMIC MASS:  Accepted as 188lbs but known to vary from
>              100 to 550lbs.
>OCCURENCE:   Copiuos quantities throughout the world.
>
>PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:  
>1.   Surface usually covered with painted film,
>2.   Boils at nothing, freezes with reason.
>3.   Melts if given special treatment.
>4.   Bitter if incorrectly used.
>5.   Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to 
>     common ore.
>6.   Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
>
>CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
>1.   Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, platinum and 
>     Precious Stones.
>2.   Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
>3.   May explode spontaneously without prior warning and 
>     for no good reason.
>4.   Insoluable in liquids, but actively greatly increases
>     by saturation in alcohol.
>5.   Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
>
>COMMON USES:
>1.   Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
>2.   Can be a great aid to relaxation.
>3.   Very effective cleaning agent.
>
>TESTS:
>1.   Pure speciman turns rosy pink when discovered in natural
>     state.
>2.   Turns green when placed beside a better speciman.
>
>HAZARDS:
>1.   Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
>2.   Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
>     maintained at different locations as long as specimens do 
>     not come into direct contact with each other.
>                    *******HANDLE AT YOUR OWN RISK********